"Chit-chat"

I've definitely been slacking on my blogging lately, obviously. Actually I have a lot of materials to write about. Lots of photos too. But it has been a tiring few weeks, today included. Let me share some thoughts in my mind of late, starting with what happened yesterday and today in office. I usually try to avoid talking about work-related stuff, prefering to share some more cheerful stories. Well, it's a wonder how this blog is always evolving...

Food is one of the main recurring topics here mainly because we all love food! You will also see me posting the occasional Star Wars stuff that came in. Nowadays not so often anymore because frankly, the store room is now packed like a sardine can! It's a bit hard to setup the 'studio' where I snap those pics :P I have a few items I would love to pose out, in particular the X-Wing. We'll see how we can rearrange stuff later!

You've seen me posting about the Life in Plantation series and of course the Epic Adventure. In terms of adventure, I had the most fun writing about the Kota Kinabalu Expedition coz it's just so darn nice! Oh, and the usual trips home, feasting with the family, meeting up with friends. Yeah, I originally saw this blog as a place for me to share stuff with my friends. So, if you are reading this, glad to see you're still on board. It actually started late 2006 when I was about to leave Modolala for real.

Yeah, in all, there were 3 times I wanted to leave. First was after 2 years, I wanted to do a Masters degree in Universiti Malaya. But it never took off. When I was busy submitting the application forms, Modo sent me to Plantation for the 1st time within a few days notice. That was some of the most turbulent times of Modo. I call it the Great Depression, coz the Fric treated me so badly, I don't know why. Underpaid. No promotion.

The Second Time was the closest ever. I got the job offer from AG. Was due to report to work within a month. Turned it down. That job promised me a really huge bonus and a massive pay (or could it be I was too badly underpaid??:P). I declined it at the end, making the hiring manager really mad. But when I got past the money offerings etc, I realized that I love my frens here in Modo too much. We're really like a family. Oookay... so I ended up moving to the Advanced Group. Okla, watever. Then came the Third Time.

Omg, I knew the Ninja was nuts, but he nearly drove me crazy! Working with him made my blood pressure shoot up, made me lose self-esteem, really made me give up! The pay wasn't an issue (you get past being underpaid after awhile), but this madman drove everyone up the walls! I was reading so many meditation books, Dzogchen, Zen; anything to made me sane again. That was when the wheel of fate turned again, bringing me to Plantation once more.

A 3 month Rehabilitation Period. Slowly, all the damning words and accusations began to dissolve. It was now a journey of self-rediscovery. The wounds began to heal. Peace. I went there with a feeling called No Heart. It basically means you don't give a shit anymore about anything. Anything they ask you to do, you're like, screw you la, I just do the minimum to get past another day.

I am not ashamed to admit that I cried on the plane. Flying alone in that long journey was heartbreaking. Some more No Heart. Crushing despair. Many thoughts crossed my mind. I recalled vividly the lunch sessions with my ATG mates who were in the same boat, how we used to bash Ninja for 2 hours while having lunch by this seaside place (they serve some darn good fish curry!), enjoying the seabreeze. I realized how much I took for granted these little things.

I also recalled hearing the tear-chocked voice of Gf when she called me after I went into the boarding station. I have been reading and practicing a lot of meditation, but life's greatest teachers are not books, but living life itself. I found it extremely hard to meditate on the plane. I constantly broke down, the mind refusing to quiet down. It didn't like this sad feeling.

But working with the US guys eventually brought back some feeling of joy, wonder and freedom! The rehabilitation worked out very well. I was back! Fren2 could feel it too. We were all bashed so badly by Ninja. When he came over to Plantation, he saw that I was different. Alive! But rehabilitation will end anyhow. It's how to deal with the Ninja in real life that is the true test. Oh ya, I was going to talk about office today. Gosh, so I'm so long winded! Okla, nvm, we'll chat next time! :P