Thursday, November 1, 2007

"I lost it today..."

One of the benefits of frequent meditation is the calmness of the mind. Focused. Aware. Mindful. In this state, you have a greater control of your actions, speech and thoughts. People who are quick to anger will be able to sense when they are about to blow, and control it.

I could sense my blood pressure hitting the ceiling. I still had a split second to think on it. A split second to change the course of action. In that split second, I decided to make a stand. There is only so much abuse I will take! SLAM! I raised my voice in a very heated argument with the boss. He was talking to me in a sarcastic, insulting and accusatory tone. The details are best left unsaid.

Unfortunately, I am notorious as someone who goes against authority, not because I like to, but because of this deep sense of righteousness. Ain't gonna stand back and let injustice rule! But it's really ill-advised to do so. The calm and wise would hold back and find the proper opportunity to make a difference. Rushing blindly only hurts yourself.

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In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have done that. Oh well! The next best thing is to assert an even greater control over emotion and turn that split-second into a few seconds! Maybe then I can remain even calmer and make a real difference!

Om Mani Padme Hum

2 comments:

PS Lee said...

U seems like mentally "sick" these few weeks. Can c a lot "amitabha" pictures every where.

I learn a way to "fight back".

----Respect my decision and be confidence of my decision.(cause i'm doing wat is good for u although ur boss not agree :p)----

Said every thing that is for his good. (talk crap to delight him). hahaha

**** Dun over do it. end up u gosok kasut ********************

Leopard said...

ps,
Yes, there are a lot of confusing thoughts in my head lately. Amithabha is a way to understand and clear them. :D

You know, he want this he want that. He think of 10 things at the same time and ask why I didnt do it. Err, he jz told me, how can I have done it?? Then he say thats y I need to prioritise. Seems like always I am wrong n he is right. Ok, nvm. I can do it. But he dun have to be rude to me rite?

Tats y upset la..